The Last Night
by narglesnsuch
Summary: A break-up. Axel/Roxas. A/U


"Please, Axel," Roxas whispered, pressing his forehead against Axel's. Their legs were tangled together on the small couch they were sitting on. Axel's hands stayed glued to the front of his chest, afraid to move them and grab onto Roxas in case he found that he really could never let the boy go. "Please.." Roxas whimpered. Cold tears fell from Roxas's hands onto Axel's hands.

"Please what?" Axel cried, trying to stifle his gasps for breath long enough to make coherent words. Roxas remained quiet before tilting his chin towards Axel's, pressing their lips together in a soft embrace. Axel shattered, his heart completely breaking into a state of disarray. Roxas kissed him again, this time a little more wanting and Axel obliged. Tears fell from his eyes in a never-ending flow and as he kissed Roxas his bottom lip quivered with such ferocity that he was afraid the blond would want to stop kissing him. Roxas merely put his hands on Axel's cheeks to try and steady his face, kissing the redhead as tenderly as he could. One of the hands left Axel's face to find his hands. When their fingers met, Axel gripped Roxas with a tight hold. He never wanted to let the boy go. He wanted to freeze time and stay in this moment forever, even if he was a sopping, broken mess. His lip stopped shaking during the kisses and soon small arms were around his body, pulling him closer. This time Axel cupped Roxas's face, kissing the boy with such passion that a small gasp of surprise escaped the boy's mouth.

The two pulled away. Axel began wiping the snot that had made its way out of his nose and Roxas was trying to clean his face of his and Axel's tears. When they were both done tending to themselves, Axel smiled at Roxas, the corners of his mouth turning up in the smallest way. He was still hurt, and he could see that the blond sitting in front of him was too. Still, he couldn't help but cherish the moment. There was something perfect about the imperfectness of their kiss and the way that their affection was being shared. Yes, this was their final good bye, but there was a certain poetic justice about it all. He wished that he had been a better lover for Roxas. Perhaps if he had listened more or truly taken the boy's concerns into consideration they wouldn't be in this mess. Maybe if Roxas hadn't been so caught up in his own insecurities and self-loathing, they could have kep their promise of a life together.

Now there were sitting on Axel's couch with puffy red eyes and noses, snot oozing out of their nostrils as steady as their tears fell. Roxas brushed the stray red hairs from Axel's face, taking in the look of relief and sorrow on Axel's face. Axel could read his disappointment as if he were flipping through a children's book. Everything was written plainly. The time to keep a straight face was over. They were both giving up. No one was going to try and one-up the other. Both of them were too tired for that. Instead, they sat in silence, wiping this and that off or away from the other's face. Axel let his thumb graze Roxas's cheek, eyebrows knitting as he looked upon the blond's face. There was soemthing missing in their touch. It was lacking in something and Axel didn't want to admit that their love for one another was going out like a candle, burning the wick and reaching the end before being snuffed out completely and leaving nothing but a few traces of smoke and wax. Roxas sighed as quietly as he could, frowning at the look on Axel's face. He knew it, too. Their love was over. Their promises were broken. Their dreams were gone.

Axel laid back against the couch, opening his arms so that Roxas could enter them. Out of habit, the boy did and they lay there together in the quiet. Axel closed his eyes, wondering when he first realized that Roxas's warmth had faded, wondering when he first noticed that the kisses they shared were empty. He thought it was very recent but there were times that he recalled reaching for Roxas and touching him and feeling nothing. There was no speeding pulse and there was no electricity. It was like touching a mannequin. Axel squeezed his eyes shut and clenched his teeth, trying to keep himself from crying again. There was nothing here anymore and he knew it. He forgot when their relationship had just begun to feel routine. When did it happen? When did their love become something as trivial as going to school and not like exploring a new world? When had the sun in the window become a warming welcome and nto a signal that their stolen night together was over? Roxas used to be his lifeline; he was the one thing that tethered him to reality, that reminded him that no matter where he went or what he did there was someone who cherished him. There was someone who was waiting for him to come home. Axel racked his brain trying to figure out when the line was cut. More importantly, he tried to recall who cut it: him or Roxas?

In his arms, Roxas moved, tightening his grip on the redhead. It was just a reflex; muscle memory. He wasn't squeezing Axel because he wanted to remind him he was there. He did it because that's what he was supposed to do. He was supposed to let Axel know that he was holding someone who cared for him, that the person he was holding was someone he cared for. It was like reminding a doctor that you were in the lobby waiting for them. "I still exist," Roxas's touch said, "And while you hold me I will pretend that this means something." But it was all empty like accidentally touching a stranger's hand on the bus. It was an accident.

"Sorry to disturb you," Axel would say.

"No problem," Roxas would repsond. And then they would never see or touch each other again. They would go their separate ways and live their own lives, never knowing that they both really loved Dean Martin and would later slow dance to him when they had terrible days. But this wasn't the time to think of those things anymore. It was time to move on and forget. Axel would shelf his memories of Roxas and look back at the relationship as one does a high school yearbook.

Roxas moved in Axel's arms again, sliding his body up against the redhead's and intimately pressing himself against the taller male's body. Axel sighed. He wished that even now it was different. This was how they fixed things: tears and sex. It was like an unwritten agreement that the two had settled upon. When words held up no strength in their battles, their limbs would connect in embraces that were heated - not with passion, but with frustration. Their bodies would mingle with one another in a way that spoke levels to their relationship. Roxas craved Axel's body and Axel just wanted Roxas's heart. Now was not any different. Roxas pushed against Axel, begging for some sort of interaction. His fingers tugged at the waistline in Axel's pants then went in for another kiss. Axel pulled his face away.

"What's wrong?" Feigned hurt appeared on Roxas's face. He dropepd his eyes to Axel's chest, glancing up like a dog who'd been caught chewing on the couch.

"I don't want to kiss you," Axel responded, keeping his face away from Roxas's. He wasn't going to take any chances. He knew that if he gave in again he'd be signing his heart away.

"But you just did," Roxas frowned, "Why can't you just kiss me again?" This time he leaned forward, climbing Axel and gripping his neck to hoist himself towards the redhead's face. Axel pushed Roxas away with his hands this time, making sure to be gentle yet firm. He didn't want another fight. He just wanted this to be over.

"I think you should leave," He murmured. Roxas paused. He was baffled by the request, though it was apparent that he had no argument as to why he should stay. They both knew that it was over. There was no place for him on Axel's couch anymore. The blond sat up, keeping one hand in Axel's. Their fingers were curled together, knuckles white from the force of their squeezing. Why they were holding on so hard to each other was confusing to Axel. He had accepted that it was done, that there was nothing he could do to fix what he and Roxas shared. So why couldn't he relax his fingers. Roxas slid himself off of the couch. The grip on their hands tightened.

"Goodbye then," Roxas said, not looking at Axel, "I guess."

Axel nodded, jaw clenched. "Bye."

Roxas let go of Axel, his fingers burning the redhead's palm as they glided out of his hand. Without another word, Roxas opened the door and left, shutting it gently. Axel sat in the silence, staring at his door, waiting for Roxas to return. He ended up sleeping on the couch by himself.

* * *

 _Sorry for the length. I felt like I was overcompensating with the first draft so I cut a lot of extra stuff out._

 _-nargles_


End file.
